I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
