Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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