puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
