I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She tied me up with her honor cords...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
