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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
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