I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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