You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
