Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
