She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize