Sponge bath it is.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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