Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
