so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We got so high we made milksteak
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
