i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
