your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
