Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
