508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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