Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
