Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
