you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize