good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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