hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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