So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I could fuck to npr.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
