i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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