Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
