every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
