as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize