I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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