thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
