Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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