I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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