So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
