It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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