I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
