There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
