Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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