The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
