i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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