Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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