he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
this boner is exhausting
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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