Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
