A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I'm really busy with my period
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