I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
