He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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