Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
