when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize