I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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