Can Purell be used as lube?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
