Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
