i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
