Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
