I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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