Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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