who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
And then he peed in my hair
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