it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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