with your own penis?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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