I feel great
I just peed on a car
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
