The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
