Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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