I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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