Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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