I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
