There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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