so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
